Don’t fear death, fear the state in which you will die.
I was always afraid of Ohio
we need to sacrifice somebody so Ellen never dies
This is quickly becoming the Hunger Games for douchebags
"i dont like short hair on girls" yeah well i dont like short dicks on guys but here u are
have u ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating
I thought you said beheaded
that would not be an accident
eat my ass
My mom said I had to eat my vegetables first
I respect that
— This is the scariest fucking text post I’ve ever read (via fuckinq)
My grandpa has Alzheimer’s so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen.
is that satan
what if you injected brownie mix into your bloodstream like since your body temp is like 98 the brownies would cook over a few days and then you will have clumps in your arms and you just cut it open and eat the brownies i should be a scientist
what the fucking hell is wrong with you